Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Sitting in front of the computer.

Holidays. You would think it is a word to whoop with joy! But, I don't know. Maybe holidays don't mean the same anymore! Now, it means sitting in front of the computer and doing absolutely nothing. I don't say that I don't have things to be doing. But this is so addictive it is killing me! I do not want to be typing this out right now, but I prefer it to reading Sanskrit or writing assignments which I should finish by the 8th of March. I do know that sounds a long time away, but believe me I have loads to do.
That sets you out to pondering as to what is so addictive about the computer? Well, primarily, the swivel chair that you set your behind comfortably into! And the screen which provides you practically everything, especially the 'getting in touch with friends' part. Not as though I do not meet my clasmates sooner or later, but there is some cheap thrill in being online! I do not know why!
I think I should read! Hmmm.... why it is not happening, I cannot fathom. I am supposed to be a bookworm. Well, apparently I am not! I do not know!
Well, today was a little more productive I would say. Stitching happened and some sanskrit learning. I do hope that I shall soon learn to live without any support system to take my mind off boredom.
Boredom is a surprisingly intriguing concept. It doesn't arise out of a lack of something to do. It rises due to a laziness. In fact, a lot of people speak of this boredom nowadays, it makes you wonder how people survived before. But amazingly, parents have managed without too much at hand and without any boredom to speak of!! Well, maybe it is the 'thumb generation' or maybe it is the lackadaisical present. But boredom does arise and a restlessness creeps in, making one desire for adventure and seek cheap thrills. Movies become an inegral part of this boredom! - "I'm bored. Wanna go for a movie?" is a common tag line that goes around.
Flimsy thought now flit through my head, as to whether I should not be seriously considering closing this site and doing something with myself. I shall now stop and I shall attempt to do something productive.

Signing out.

Friday, 6 February 2009

A flow of thought

I do not want to name this feeling, but it is there.
Deep down inside, I feel it squirm a thought into my head.
Why do we trust humans so? What is it that makes us want to bond?-
Be friends? - NEED friends?
Loneliness is an elixir. Sometimes you should lock yourself up and explore what you can do with yourself.
How do prisoners pass through the 'chamber' (or whatever it is called) and come out sane?
Disillusionment.
People will never be what you contrive them to be. So why bother?
But there is a spot inside of you that craves a little attention.
Damned attention! We are selfish selfish people.
We need that pat on the back.
One line that I intend to follow up on someday-
Said by Kurt Vonnegut: "Write a poem tonight. Make it as good as you possibly can. Four, six or eight lines. Make it as good as you can. Don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it to anybody. When you’re satisfied it’s as good as you can make it, tear it up in small pieces and scatter those pieces between widely separated trash receptacles and you will find out you have received your full reward for having done it. It’s the act of creation, which is so satisfying."

Genius he is!
I would have loved to meet him. Sometimes the world passes by a great person (not Vonnegut, but just saying...) and it is pitiful that new talents could die due to lack of inspiration.
That's why inspiration is a spark. That's why it is 'in' spiration- you inspire it. You breathe it! Vital for living, and yet so hard to find!
It is no wonder we all rot and die.
Maybe people aren't so bad, once you get yourself a distance! Maybe you will never find the perfect man, or lover. Maybe you have to keep adapting and changing.
But then, there is always a blossom of a butterfly wing. Maybe we should take the time to really percieve and really listen and we shall be at peace with ourselves. But then....