Monday, 18 June 2007

Redness and colorlessness


Somehow colors fascinate me. I was washing my face of and there was the drip of a bright reddish-pinkish something that washed itself down my nose from my forehead. The slight drips of blood. Of love. What all connotations! Anger, just red. The red carpet of glory. A flash of a sword. Somehow, of all, its blood that stays imbibed into your memory. Blood is not only vengeance- do not mistake me. It is also sorrow… definitely. It isn’t necessarily death is it? It is also life. Blood fury and love. Blood death and birth. Redness. The property of just being- the property of being red. Inscriptions of life stories unheard, buried in ice cold redness of anonymity. The being buried and being born. It all revolves around blood. The slight little piece of nothingness that exits a mother’s womb and chooses to struggle. Why does no one talk about that blood? The blood shed for a child, the blood shed by a child. The terror of being unprotected in a harsh world. Out in the cold of the worldly atmosphere, of friendships and enmities… more the latter than the former. The trust that there will be someone to get you through the better part of your life just to let it all go at the end. The stabs of the heart- that throbbing something that makes everything into somethingness- a meaningful something that makes you you!!! Love and prayers of hope and fate. Sorrows and pains.
All that…. Summarized in just one word… RED.
Somehow, I relate thoughts and emotions to colors. Feelings, despairs, hopes, joys, sorrows. They are all colors. And then when there isn’t a color that can get me through a feeling, I’m blind. The feeling overpowers and that is a color in itself- the color of colorlessness. The color of a fluid watery something that has no substance and just can’t take the shape of something solid and substantive. It becomes the color of a confusing thought. The color of air… Nothingness.